Having JOY Amidst Suffering

Can we truly have JOY amidst suffering? If so, than what does

that look like?

"...in Thy presence is fullness of JOY..." -Psalm 16:11

Boom! Right there. Okay so what does THAT mean? In the presence of the Lord, there is fullness- COMPLETE, SATISFYING...JOY! Okay well...how exactly do I GET that? Scripture says that in HIS presence, there you will find it. When we seek after the Lord and continually abide in His presence, we will be filled with His JOY! That's a promise! (you can scroll down and read my other post "Promises of God"). Okay, so...can I really have that when I'm suffering? Read the verse again. "In Thy presence IS fullness of JOY". That is present tense. No matter where we are in life, we can always find joy in Him. I know it sounds easier said than done, especially when you are going through a time of suffering. But friends, I know this to be TRUE in those VERY times of suffering.

This past Saturday, I felt like my world had been turned upside down. (I can't go into details and have to be vague, and for that I apologize). I had to keep constantly telling and reminding myself that God IS who He SAYS He is. And that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5, Joshua 1:5). I was so burdened and discouraged by "this", and I asked the Lord to help me not to let this distract me or completely take away my joy for what we are celebrating at this time of year: HIM. His life and death and resurrection. And as soon as I prayed that, I realized what suffering in a Believer's life should look like. That even though there will be pain and suffering in this life, especially as a Believer, we can have true JOY! Not necessarily happiness, but JOY. I saw that amidst my suffering now, this week, I can still have joy and celebrate the Gift of Christmas. For this is the very reason why any of us can even have joy. That Joy, that Gift, is JESUS CHRIST Himself. But it's not just for this time of year, it is something that we must celebrate every single day. The Thing that we look to day by day, and the Thing that we find our JOY and satisfaction in. Because He is our All-in-All. He is the very reason for life. Amidst our suffering, we can find JOY. Not that it will be easy, but the suffering I'm going through right now and during this Christmas season, is a picture of how our suffering should be for the rest of our lives. That even though we are suffering, we can look to our precious Savior and see all that He has done for us. And that ("that" being Jesus) really, as hard as it is to sometimes see and believe, far surpasses any suffering we go through. THAT is JOY ENOUGH!

"Holy Father, thank You for the precious Gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus, thank You for being willing to be made humble to come to this earth as a lowly

baby to deliver and rescue us, sinners, for the sake of our Matchless and Most High God.

Thank You for Your life, death and resurrection.

Lord thank You for filling us with your Holy Spirit and for giving us the JOY

of who you are and what You've done, admits the pain and the suffering we go through for Your name. Be glorified and lifted up high. I love you so very much.

In Jesus' Powerful, Holy & Precious name,

Amen."

Visit to Colorado

God had given me the opportunity to go out to Colorado and visit Ellerslie a month ago. I was out there for two weeks and, wow, what a blessing it was. A couple of weeks before I left, God had made it very clear to me that He wanted me to go out with the mind set of pouring out and into the lives of the students and staff there. I didn't exactly know what that would look like, but I kept praying that God would shape my time there. Yes I was excited to see everyone, but I knew God wanted to use me in some very specific ways. I was thinking more along the lines of serving Sandi (Executive Assistant) in any way possible. Well God had other things in mind. He far exceeded any expectation I had of the trip and He not only used me in the lives of those there, but He poured back into me as well. He took my time and shaped and molded it into what He wanted it to look like, for His glory. A friend said to me, "Camille, I know you came here to pour-out, but I think that God brought you here to pour back into you." And I think both are true. But isn't that how our lives should always be? In scripture there are many times that it says that we are vessels. Think about what a vessel is; it is a bowl of some type that is used to hold liquid. The liquid doesn't just appear, it has to come from somewhere. So the liquid is poured into the vessel and the vessel is then used to pour out the liquid. Isn't that what our lives as Christians are supposed to be? As Christ constantly fills us up with Himself, we are to pour out our lives with what He has given us (Himself), It's a constant cycle. Anyway...

I cannot go into very much detail, but God really did use my visit to touch the lives of those at Ellerslie. And I'm not saying that in any prideful way, no, it is the complete opposite. I have been

so humbled by it. Yet even though Eric said to me my last day there, "Camille, the Lord knew that we needed you..." I've thought to myself countless times since, "no. You have no idea how much God knew I needed YOU, and how He as used YOU (the body at Ellerslie) in the past two weeks." Isn't that funny how that works? It goes to show us all that it is completely the work of God. Oh, thank You, Jesus!! I didn't take very many pictures. Not really sure why, but of course now I'm bummed that I didn't take more...oh well. :) I will just share some of the ones that I took and some that Chelsea Mills took as well.

Sunset at Ellerslie.

It snowed for the first time at Ellerslie my first day there Nathan and a guy from this fall semester, Josiah, decided to "dance" a 'snow dance' to make the snow come harder and faster. :)

Either the umbrella was part of the dance, or Nathan was trying to stay dry. I'm not really sure, but what I am sure of is that I have never seen an umbrella used in the snow. And I'm from the North. ;)

I LOVE snow!!

Nik taking a picture of...

...all of us girls. A group of us went to the Rosen's for dinner.

(Left-Right) Madison, Anna, Rachel, Kate, Mandy, Kourtney, Kelsey, Kara (aka, Momma Rosen), Esterline & Me

The boys took the floor.

(L-R) Aaron (in the white) Nathan Rogers, Nathan Rosen, Nik, Stephen & Steve

The Nathans...

Aaron and Na-Na. I'm not sure who was having more fun :)

Stephen climbing a tree

James & Aaron on their way to the airport to pick up the Haitian kids for His Little Feet.

(L-R:) Me, Kelsey, Thaysee, Mandy, Kate, Esterline, Anna, Chrissy, Na-Na, Kara, Liz & Kourtney

Brooke & Kelsey waiting for the kiddos to arrive! It was very windy and cold...

We decorated the Victory Wing for the kiddos' arrival!!

All the students (60+) were lining the sidewalk all the way to the Victory wing in anticipation to greet the His Little Feet choir!!

There were about 6 cars all filled with precious Haitian kiddos. We were so excited when Eric pulled in with the other line of cars following!

Eric and Hudson walking through all the students! Everyone was beaming and crying and laughing!! What an unforgettable moment.

Ben "Muffin" capturing everything on video!

The Choir sang a couple of songs for us. The last song they sang was "Amazing Grace (My Chains Fell Off)". I'm pretty sure everyone in the Church was crying at that point.

The men of Ellerslie all surrounded the kiddos and prayed over them. What a day! A day that will go down in the history of Ellerslie...it leaves me speechless.

This picture makes me smile. Need I explain?

Kala, me & Chelsea! :)

Apparently I had a lot of snow on my head...but Nik decided to tell me that it looked goofy AFTER he took the picture! :P

Me & Chels :D

The Rosen girls came with me to musician's fellowship and then we had a sleepover in the Chelseas' room (both Chelsea's share a room), and drank hot chocolate!!

(L-R: Chelsea, Anna, Me & Kate)

Chels & Me. What a gift she is from the Lord! :)

Anna, Me & Kate

The girls were all excited the next morning because they wanted me to fix their hair. :)

One of Nathan's last days.

(Nathan & Ben "B-Zo")

Ben "Muffin", Nik, Nathan & Ben "B-Zo

Kate, Madison, Me, Nathan, Kelsey & Chelsea

You can tell we were all crying... :(

My two buds!! :)

(Me, Nathan & Chelsea)

All the guys with Nathan!

Well, that's all for now! There will be more to come...

Waiting on God

Recently I've been studying in the Psalms how often the Psalmist writes about waiting on God...and if you've never realized, it's a lot. God is showing me that it is to be the Christan's state of mind and way of life. And although at times it can be very hard, I've been realizing in the past month that waiting on God keeps me in a place of three things; a continual state of dying to self, constantly seeing my dependence upon Christ, and it reminds me who I am and who our God is. Here are 2 excerpts from 'Waiting on God' by Andrew Murray. " 'Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. Those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the land.' Psalm 37:7, 9 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Yes, for HIM. Seek not only the help, the gift, thou needest seek: HIMSELF; wait for HIM. Give God His glory by resting in Him. by trusting Him fully, by waiting patiently for Him. This patience honors Him greatly; it leaves Him, as God on the throne, to do His work; it yields self wholly into His hands. It lets God be God. If thy waiting be for some special request, wait patiently. If thy waiting be more the exercise of the spiritual life seeking to know and have more of God, wait patiently. Whether it be in the shorter specific periods of waiting, or as the continuous habit of the souls. Rest in the Lord, be still before the Lord, and wait patiently. 'They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land.' What a blessed life the life of waiting becomes, the continual worship of faith, adoring and trusting His goodness. As the soul learns it's secret, every act or exercise of waiting becomes just a quiet entering into the goodness of God, to let it do it's blessed work and satisfy our every need. And, every experience of God's goodness gives new attractiveness to the work of waiting. Instead of only taking refuge in time of need, there comes a great longing to wait continually and all day. And, however duties and engagements occupy the time and mind, the soul gets more familiar with the secret art of always waiting. Waiting becomes the habit and disposition, the very second nature and breath of the soul."

"Wait (qavah) on the Lord;

be of good courage (chazaq)

and He shall strengthen (amats) thine heart:

wait, I say, on the Lord."

-Psalm 27: 14

This makes me laugh every time I see it. My friend took a picture of this sign in Estes Park, Colorado.

Calvary Love

• If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting "Who made thee to differ?And what hast thou that thou has not recieved?" then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I find myself taking lapses for granted, "Oh, that's what they always do," "Oh, of course she talks like that, he acts like that," then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I do not feel far more for the grieved Savior than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I can rebuke without a pang, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If my attitude is one of fear, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, "Just what I expected" if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or least the one concerned should say, "you do not understand," or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying "Peace, peace," where there is no peace; if I forget the poignant word "Let love be without dissimulation" and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth thing, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choices, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I am soft to myself and slide comfortably into self-pity and self-sympathy; if I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve around myself, if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself," then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If, the moment I am conscious of the shadow of self crossing my threshold, I do not shut the door, and keep that door shut, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I feel injured when another lays to my charge things that I know not, forgetting that my sinless Savior trod this path to the end, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I bitter toward those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If souls can suffer alongside and I hardly know it because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If the praise of others elates me and their blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, than I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I crave hungrily to be used to show the way of liberty to a soul in bondage, instead of caring only that it be delivered; if I nurse my disappointment when I fail, instead of asking that to another the word of release may be given, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given room there;
• If the cup of flattery tastes sweet to me, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If in the fellowship of servie I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are cause to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous (to myself, for myself), then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I refuse to allow one who is dear to me to suffer for the sake of Christ,
• If I do not see such suffering as the greatest honr that can be offered to any follower of the Crucified, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, making myself the first necessity to a soul instead of leading it to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed, if I cannot be trust with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I now nothing of Calvary Love.
• If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my fellows hestitate to ask it and turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary Love. "That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God." -Amy Carmichael

Promises of God

"...in Thy presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right hand are pleasures forever more." -Psalm 16:11. This was a promise God had shown me a week after returning from Ellerslie. I've heard and read this verse countless times before, but it pierced my heart in a different and deeper way then ever before. It is a promise. If I seek after my Jesus and continually stay and abide in His presence, I will be filled with His joy. I will find fullness and be completely satisfied. God made it clear to me that He wanted me to go after this promise. I had been fighting to find true joy in being home. Knowing it was where God wanted me, but still finding it hard to have joy in being here. Day after day I ran after this promise. My prayer was continually, "God, You promise it. I know you do not and cannot lie, so therefore it will be fulfilled. No matter how long it takes, it will happen." One of the things that God was pressing into my being while at Ellerslie was what it really means to walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7 - This verse has been a "theme" verse for me over the past several years.) Walking by 1) FACT: knowing what the the Word of God says; who He says He is and knowing that my God cannot lie. It is Truth. 2) FAITH: so then having faith in the facts. "I believe Lord, but help my unbelief"(Mark 9:24) . 3) FEELINGS/EXPERIENCE: then the feelings/emotions/experience- whatever you want to call them, will come. So many Christians live out these three things completely backwards. Feelings/experience first, not fact. For a month and a half I clung to the promise that I would be filled with God's joy and completely satisfied when I continually abide in Him. Day after day, hour after hour, I did not have the feelings, but God was truly teaching me how to walk by faith: to walk by FACT not FEELING. I wont go into details, but after a month and a half of this, God had filled me with His joy. And within days He began to give me the joy and desire to be here and serve and love the people He has placed in my life right now. Psalm 61, 62 & 63 have been pretty significant in my relationship with Christ in the past 3 years. This summer He took me deeper in these chapters and showed me so much more which I'm not going to share now in this post, but it talks a lot about God as our Rock. Our only Rock, Fortress and Salvation. Our refuge and our hiding place. Psalm 63 has been my prayer specifically since being home. My Lord is the only One that will truly satisfy. Every fiber of my being longs and faints for my Jesus. Verses 7-8 says, "Because Thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of Thy wings will I rejoice. My soul followeth hard after Thee, Thy right hand upholdeth me." The words followeth hard were translated from the greek word dabaq (daw-bak). Which means to impinge, cling or adhere. to catch by pursuit; abide, fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard, after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take. Am I following hard after Jesus? The word upholdeth was translated from the greek word tamak (taw-mak). Meaning, to sustain; keep fast; to help, follow close; (take, up) hold (up), maintain, retain, stay (up) Verse 8 says that God's right hand upholdeths me. Period. Not just sometimes or every now and then. It is used in present tense. It upholdeths. Such a key thing to remember here in this verse is that the only reason we can follow hard after Christ (dabaq), is because His right hand is upholding (tamak) us. That is the only reason. I cannot do it on my own. No matter how hard I try, I cannot do it on my own. These are just a few of the many Truths and promises God has been revealing to me in the past couple of months and weeks. Feel free to share your thoughts and comments. I pray that God would use it to encourage you in some way. This is a song that has been a prayer of mine for several weeks.

In the light of the King's face

there is life

Giving favor to His children

like a cloud of rain

Rain is falling in Your presence

on our thirsty hearts

As we seek the knowledge of Your will

oh God, impart

Oh, never ever ending river

fill us up

Lord, rain down upon us

Rain down upon us

We need You, we need You

Rain down

One thing we ask

and Lord, we humbly seek

That in Your shelter we can hide

and gaze upon the King

In Your presence

we find fullness, we are satisfied

Come, Lord Jesus

let us look upon You with enlightened eyes

Oh, never ever ending river

fill us up

Lord, rain down upon us

Rain down upon us

We need You, we need You

Rain don

You are raining down

and we are filling up

You keep raining down

and we keep filling up

"Rain Down"

Shane & Shane

Vacation August 2010

Here are some pictures I took of our vacation back in August. Most of the pictures are of my niece Savannah, but she's the cutest thing ever!! My sister, Brittany and her little one, Savannah Me and my sweet little niece I love this! She always does this thing where she sucks in her bottom lip...ugh...so precious

She has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen on a baby

Eating cereal for the first time

Savannah and Uncle Dane (he's 7)

He adores her and she always laughs at him

Listening to Nonni (my mom)

Jon (brother-in-law), Savannah & Daners

Talking to Aunt Millie

My sister calls me "The Baby Wisperer". I think record time in getting her asleep was 3 minutes! It doesn't get much better having a precious little baby fall asleep in my arms!

She LOVED the water

Savannah, Brittany, Aubrynn, me & Chelsea

I LOVE this picture!

Auntie put her asleep again. So precious!

Uhhhh...sweetness...

I took this picture in the car...I just love the colors!

Chelsea, Me, Dane, Tate, Aubrynn, Sawyer & Brittany. My oldest sister Jocelyn is the only "kid" missing from this picture.

Two of my favorite people in the whole world!

We were being really wierd...

I just love her...

Adorable