New Blog Name

In the next couple days I will be changing the name of my blog:
       upheldtofollow

This is taken from Psalm 63. The Psalmist cries out to his God, saying how he longs so desperately for his Lord.  David realizes that His Father's love is  much richer and satisfying than anything life can offer; even life itself.

     Verse 3. "...Your steadfast love is better than life"

Near the end of this Psalm, David says, "My soul follows hard after You; Your right hand upholds me."

In the original Greek, the word for 'follow hard' is 'dabaq'. Which means ;
      cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, to stay with, to be joined together, to cleave to, to pursue closely, to overtake, to be made to cleave.

Think about that definition for a minute. To be joined together, to stay close and stick to... We are literally MADE to cleave to our Lord. 

The second part of that verse is the most important. "Your right hand upholds me". The Greek word for 'upheld' is ' 'tamak', which means;
       to grasp, hold, support, attain, lay hold of, hold fast, grasp, lay hold of, attain, to hold up, support, to hold, keep, to take hold of each other, to be seized, be held.

The Lord lays hold of my heart and life. He keeps me, and supports me to follow hard after Him. It's a beautiful picture of His love and grace. This is the most important and crucial part of this verse because we are incapable of clinging to or following hard after the Lord, without Him upholding us.
This is the reason and meaning for my blog name... for those of you that actually care! As His children, we follow hard after Him in faith, believing and trusting in Him as His righteous right hand uphold us. Thank You, Jesus!!

Repenting of Our Righteousness

'The Prodigal God' by Tim Keller is all about the parable of 'The Two Sons' Jesus tells to the Pharisees in Luke 15. In his book, Tim, talks about the need to repent not only of our unrighteousness, but our righteousness as well. Here's an excerpt from his book that I find both challenging and humbling:

"What must we do, then, to be saved? To find God we must repent of the things we have done wrong, but if that is all you do, you may remain just an elder brother. To truly become a Christian we must also repent of the reasons we ever did anything right. Pharisees only repent of their sins, but Christians repent for the very roots of their righteousness, too. We must learn how to repent of the sin under all our other sins and under all our righteousness – the sin of seeking to be our own Savior and Lord. We must admit that we’ve put our ultimate hope in both our wrongdoing and right doing we have been seeking to get around God or get control of God in order to get hold of those things.


It is only when you see the desire to be your own Savior and Lord—lying beneath both your sins and your moral goodness—that you are on the verge of becoming a Christian indeed. When you realize that the antidote to being bad is not just being good, you are on the brink. If you follow through, it will change everything—how you relate to God, self, others, the world, your work, you sins, your virtue. It’s called the new birth because its so radical”

Psalm 37

Verse 3-8

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices.

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it ends only to evil."

Project AK-47 Rescuing Child Soilders

Project AK-47:  The first step is to be aware.

Please take a few minutes to watch this powerful VIDEO.

LOVE

If I had to define one of the biggest things the Lord has been teaching me in the past eight months, it would be love. What does it mean to love God? Here are some of my thoughts and the things the Lord has been revealing and challenging me on love.

     Something I think many of us Christians do is that we want to honor and glorify God; to love Him with all of our heart soul, mind and strength. We often do this by living a "moral" lifestyle, or by going around the world evangelizing, or fighting for those that are weak. Now don't misunderstand me, those things are important and great, but what we often don't realize is that the biggest way we can glorify God and love Him, is by loving people. If we aren't truly loving people, than all those "moral" and "good" things or acts of service we do, don't really matter. I Corinthians 13 says that you can be the wisest and most "servant hearted" Christian, but if you don't have love, than you are just a noisy gong or clanging symbol. It doesn't count or last if there is not love. Jesus says the greatest and most important commandment of the Bible is this:
       

      Mark 12:29-31 "Jesus answered, "The most important is this, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

     Sorry this is kind of random, but basically I'm going to focus on the way of loving people. What that looks like. Hod Jesus loved and spoke truth at the same time and how we're suppose to imitate that. It's a bit long, but I hope and pray that you would take a few minutes to read it and ask the Holy Spirit to convict you where conviction is needed, and that you'd be so set free and changed by the love of Christ that it changes your perspective of loving people. And please know, I am not saying I got this down. I never will perfectly here on this earth and I fail at truly loving people every single day. But if I desire to love Jesus with all my being, this is where I must start...

   Have you ever notice that the most predominant love in scripture is between a father and son? In all the ways love can be expressed; love between a man and woman, between brothers, between a friend, between a neighbor, etc. As scripture shows us God's love, the most predominant is a father to son (parents to child). Because parent to child, father to son, that kind of love is most clearly and instinctively unconditionally, complete self-giving, looking without anything in return.

The Lord really got me thinking about love back in October. One of my pastors asked me, "Camille...do you think you are a lover of people?" I said I didn't know but wanted to be. He said to me, "One of the ways you can measure whether you're a lover of people or not is by asking yourself this question: 'how am I at loving the people that are hard to love?'" Wow, that hit me hard. I began to be humbled by the fact that I don't love people well. I've been studying the Gospels all the ways that Jesus loves people and how He does it. He is ALWAYS risking Himself. He is often spending so much time with the unlovable. The "worst" of sinners. Lets look at some of the ways that Jesus chose to show love to people:

      The woman at the well: Jesus' love is unconditional, self-giving, looking for nothing in return. In her day, she was known as a whore; she had 5 husbands and was living with a man that wasn't her husband. And what does Jesus do? He goes to her at a time of day when a man and woman shouldn't even be speaking to each other at the well,. So His reputation is all on the line. And what does he than do? He connects with her. Loves her unconditionally and  basically says, "I know your empty, I know you thirst... that's what all that relational carnage in your life is all about. Enter into a love relationship with me and you'll never thirst again." It's an unconditional love and He puts Himself at risk by even speaking to her.

How about another time: When He disrobed to wash His disciple's feet? He's not getting anything in return to become the servant who washed their feet. It's unconditional, self-giving.

  The woman caught in adultery. He just saves her life. Jesus was the only one there who could have thrown the stone, but He says; "Neither do I condemn you. Leave your life of sin." -unconditional love. Notice that is TRUTH AND LOVE. He first loves her by saving her and not condemning her, yet, He still speaks truth to her saying that she needs to leave her life of sin.

But that's not how we operate as the church theses days. Our message is more like this: "We condemn you and your sin. When you leave it, I (we) may take the risk to love you." But Jesus says, "I don't condemn you, leave your life of sin."....wow, I don't get that and most of the time I don't do that...that's unconditional, self-giving love.

How about the widow of Naim: She lost her complete lively hood when her son died. Jesus isn't doing a magic show. He's restoring to her, her lively hood- the life that had been taken away.

    Or how He loved Peter when Peter denied Him three times in the gravest hour of all history of the world. The question is never "Peter, do I love you?" but, "Peter, you know I love you? In my love will You love me? Will you love me back?"

    Then the ultimate way we see this deep, unconditional love is in the cross: Jesus loves you so much that He wants to so have you as His child that He's willing to give up Himself. That the Son is willing to be orphaned from the Father that we might be called the children of God. And for three hours what does God do? He turns off the lights of the universe, because the Son/Father relationship, that perfect picture of love, was disrupted. Christ was orphaned that you might be a son/daughter of God. It means that if I put my faith in Jesus Christ that what God says, feels, thinks about the Son, He says, feels and thinks about me....On my best day and worst day. It never changes. What does the Father say? "This is my son, whom I love, with whom I am well pleased." Do I dare believe that? Not because of me, but because of Christ?
     

1 John says, "How great is the love the Father has lavished upon us..."

We need to be honest. We can begin to love people that way. We need to stop playing with all the rules. We need to measure our walk by love. If we're not loving other people maybe we don't truly love Jesus. Maybe we don't know Him the way we think we know Him. All the laws, rules, everything in our lives is fulfilled in love and if it's not, we need to pull back. We need to either say, "Jesus I don't know You the way I think I know You." Or fall on our knees saying "Jesus, I need more of You. I need more of You!"

   If we wrestle with what it looks like to love people we will begin to look like Jesus. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control... these are the marks of love. That's how you'll know. We'll begin to bear the family image. :) That's what it's all about. Jesus was the perfect image of God and we get to bare that family image in our own lives. That's so awesome because we see Jesus, who was born to us, died for us, and then began to be born IN us.

    Lastly I want to end this post with what Elizabeth Elliot said in her book 'Passion and Purity'.
"Love interprets things in favor of the one loved....Paul's description: 'love is patient...never selfish, not quick to take offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs...there is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance.' The trouble, or course, is that we must learn to love people. People are sinners. Love must be patient when it is tempted (by the delays of other people) to be impatient. Love must not be selfish, even if other people are. Love does not take offence, though people are offensive sometimes. There are wrongs, but love won't keep score. There are things to be faced, but nothing love can't face, things to try love's faith, discourage its hope, and call for its endurance. But it keeps right on trusting, hoping and enduring. Love never ends."










     

Waiting on God: Patiently

This is an excerpt from the devotional book by Andrew Murray, "Waiting on God"


"'Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. Those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the land." Ps. 37:7, 9


'In patience possess your souls.' 'Ye have need of patience.' 'Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire.' Such words of the Holy Spirit show us what an important element in the Christian life and character patience is. And nowhere is there a better place for cultivating or displaying it than in waiting on God. There we discover how impatient we are, and what our impatience means. We confess t times that w are impatient with men, and circumstances that hinder us, or with ourselves and our slow progress in the Christian life. If we truly set ourselves to wait upon God, we shall find that it is with Him we are impatient, because HE does not at once, or as soon as we could wish, do our bidding. It is in waiting upon God that our eyes are opened to believe in His wise and sovereign will, and to see that the sooner and the more completely we yield absolutely to it, the more surely His blessing can come to us.


'It is not of him that wills, nor of him that runs, but of God that shows mercy.' Romans 9:16. We have as little power to increase or strengthen our spiritual life, as we had to originate it. We 'were born not of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of the will of God.' Even so, our willing and running, our desire and effort, avail nought; all is 'of God that shows mercy.'


All the exercises of the spiritual life, our reading and praying, our willing and doing, have their very great value. But they can go no farther than this, that they point the way and prepare us in humility to look to and to depend alone upon God Himself, and in patience to wait on His good time and mercy. The waiting is to teach us our absolute dependence upon God's mighty working, and to make us in perfect patience place ourselves at His disposal. They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land; the promised land and its blessing. The heirs must wait; they can afford to wait.


'Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.' The margin gives for 'Rest in the Lord,' 'Be silent to the Lord,' or 'Be still before the Lord.' It is resting in the Lord, in His will, His promise, His faithfulness, and His love, that makes patience easy. And the resting in Him is nothing but being silent unto Him, still before Him. Having our thoughts and wishes, our fears and hopes, hushed into calm and quiet in that great peace of God which surpass all understanding. That peace keeps the heart and mind when we are anxious for anything, because we have made our request known to Him. The rest, the silence, the stillness, and the patient waiting, all find their strength and joy in God Himself.


The need for patience, and the reasonableness, and the blessedness of patience will be opened up to the waiting soul. Our patience will be seen to be the counterpart of God's patience. He longs far more to bless us fully than we can desire it. But, as the husbandman has long patience till the fruit be ripe, so God bows Himself to our slowness and bears long with us. Let us remember this, and wait patiently; of each promise and every answer to prayer the word is true: 'I the Lord will hasten it in its time.' Is. 60:22.


'Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.' Yes, for HIM. Seek not only the help, the gift, thou needs to seek: HIMSELF; wait for HIM. Give God His glory by resting in Him, by trusting Him fully, by waiting patiently for HIM. This patience honors Him greatly. It leaves Him, as God on the throne, to do His work; it yields self wholly into His hands. It lets God be God. If thy waiting be for some special request, wait patiently. If thy waiting be more the exercise of the spiritual life seeking to know and have more of God, wait patiently. 'they that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land.' 


'MY SOUL, WAIT THOU ONLY UPON GOD!'"

The Faithfulness of God- An Update

Well, I just realized a few days ago that the last time I wrote an update post it was back in September when I first returned from my summer school. Well, MUCH has happened since then and I am in an entirely different place (heart/mindset/etc.) than where I was then. Soo...I will try not to be long and bore anyone who happens to read my blog. But I pray that this post will reflect the faithfulness and grace of my precious Lord.


My jobs have not changed. I am still nannying three days a week for my friend's little boy, who just turned three today. I am still working as a youth intern, part-time, at my church (Cornerstone Presbyterian Church, PCA. http://www.cornerstonepca.net/). I work with both Jr. & Sr. High youth groups! I love it! So non of that has changed....but God has done SO much in my heart. Several of the posts I've written in the past couple of months have been somewhat of a synopsis of the things that God has been teaching me. One of the biggest things I would say that God has been changing in my heart is realizing the depth of my daily sin. Realizing that my heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick...(Jeremiah 17:9), and that the ONLY good thing that is within me is that which the Lord has done. For there is NO good in me apart from my Lord (Psalm 16:2). Which, by the way, has drastically changed the way that I see and think about people. Which leads me to the second greatest thing the Lord has been working on in me: LOVE. What it means to truly love people. It's a hard thing to grasp...and I never will fully nor will I ever do it perfectly, here on this earth, but I know that my Father is in the process of changing my heart.


Side note: I have been working on a post for the past two months on the subject of LOVE. So more on that to come...whenever I finish it. :)


Another thing...which I'll probably post about soon ;)... is how God is teaching me to trust in Him with all of my heart (Proverbs 3:5-6) and what that looks like in my daily life when I can't see often times what is 5 feet in front of me (2 Corinthians 5:7). I'm honestly not sure what else to write. But that God is just doing amazing things in my life and the lives of those that He has placed in my life. He IS faithful and He IS truly good! I am SOOOO happy and thankful that God did not call me to return for the second phase of the school I went to this summer. Because if I went back, I would not have learned the things that He has taught me through being home. I would not know the things that I know now. Once again...He IS faithful and He knows what He's doing. Yes, I knew this back in September, but I was struggling to see that. All I could do was believe. (Which I failed at...many times.) But now, I am able to SEE the ways God has been faithful and good in calling me to stay home in the past eight months. And there is literally no other place I'd rather be...there is no other place I desire to be, but here: serving and loving on my family, my church family and those that He places in my life that are in need of the grace, mercy and love of our Heavenly Father. So that's just about it! I can't really think of anything else...but just felt like I should write an update considering last time I wrote one I was really struggling with being home. I wanted to testify to, yet again, God being faithful!

" 'For I know the plans I have for you.' declares the Lord,

'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.' "

~Jeremiah 29:11~

Chief Among Sinners

      Paul said, in 1 Timothy 1:15, that he was the "chief among sinners", the worse of all sinners. Many years ago I wrestled with why Paul, of ALL people said such a thing. I thought, "Yeah sure, he's a sinner...but the CHIEF? What about all the OTHER people that just did horrible things; murder, rape, abuse, etc..." The Lord showed me what that meant soon after I began asking. And recently, in the past 6 months, God has been showing it to me in deeper ways. So I will explain why I believe Paul says this.


Paul is a sinner. Yes, he is redeemed. But he is a redeemed sinner. When God looks upon Paul, yes He sees His Son's righteousness and perfection, but Paul is still a sinner. He is still VERY human. Just as human as before he was saved. Now first let me say, that I am not saying that because Paul was redeemed and that God saw him as Jesus that he can just continue living "in sin". So just know that I'm not saying that, okay? Alright...anyway. Paul says he is the worst of all sinners. He says this AFTER he is saved. He didn't say it BEFORE he knew Christ, but after. Why? Paul knows his heart. Obviously, he doesn't know the depth of his sinful heart because if so, he would be utterly crushed and killed by it, but he knows it to a certain degree. Paul doesn't know the hearts of other's. He doesn't. He can't know that...he's not God. Paul can't judge or say what is in other's hearts because he does not know. But he DOES know his OWN heart. You see, God has been showing me over the past several months that I AM the chief among sinners. He is showing me my heart more and more. I don't and can't know what is in another person's heart, only what is in my own. So therefore I cannot claim that I am "better" of a person/christian if I can't see /know another person's heart. But oh, how often do we look at what is "wrong" and sinful in someone else's life?

"Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" -Matthew 7:3.

       We do this ALL the time. As God is showing me the depth of my sinful heart, it is honestly by His grace. By His grace alone he is showing me my sinful heart. And you know what? I am so thankful. Why?
1. I see that I have NO good apart from my Lord (Ps. 16:2).
2. As I see my heart/sin, the cross become much bigger in my life. How so? Because I begin to see how much more of a sacrifice Jesus gave on my behalf. It is astounding! It is HUMBLING.


There is a saying...I'm not sure who said it or where it comes from, but if you ever come to my church you will quickly hear it (or a variation of it):

 "Cheer up! You are a lot worse than you think, BUT in Christ more loved than you ever dared hope!"

 [Side note: 'BUT' I think is one of the most powerful words in the entire Bible. Check out Ephesians 2:4]

Seriously friends, can you grab a hold of this? Paul understood the Gospel unlike any person I have ever known or read about. He got it! Why? Because He knew the depth of his sin and the great mercy and love of the God of the universe. Another thing to think about. Just imagine with me. If we had this mind set of "being the chief among sinners" how would that change the way we interact with people? How would that change the way we love them? My goodness...it would drastically change!!! We would begin to truly love people. We would begin to love them with the Gospel; the Truth and Love of a Holy King. We would know the mercy, forgiveness and love of a Father that has forgiven the depth of our sin. We would then begin to see that, "Wow! If God can forgive ME, the worst of the worse, then how much more can I, by His grace alone, love and forgive others?" Sounds like this is..."manageable" right? Well, how about loving those that are hard to love? The socially awkward ones? The ones that make YOU feel extremely awkward? How about the ones that seem really prideful/arrogant? How about the murders? The rapists? OR...how about the ones that have wronged and sinned against you? Maybe the ones that persecute you...slander you...hmmm. "Yeah, God, I can't love THEM. I mean are you really asking me to love THEM. They've slandered my name and back stabbed me. They've basically ripped me to shreds and then just stomped all over what's left of me. You really are asking....TELLING... me to love them?"

God's response.... "Yes."

I ask, "But God, how on EARTH do I love them?"

My Father loving responds, "Camille, my daughter. Do you not remember what I have done for you? Take a look at your heart. Don't you see that you are still in desperate, daily, moment by moment in need of ME? Look at how I have loved and forgiven you. Even more, take a look at how my Son was treated, right before He died for you. And He was completely blameless. He was perfect, and yet was spat on, beaten, etc. And He still loved. He lives inside of you, which means that you can love just like that. No, you're not going to be perfect at it, but you can take that step of loving them by forgiving them and extending grace."

Seeing what my Father and Savior have done for me, how can I NOT forgive and love? As I see the depth of my sinful heart, how can I NOT extend grace, knowing that I don't know their hearts, but I do know my own. I know that I am far worse than any other being. I am the chief among sinners. The worst of the worse. Yet in seeing that, I am truly humbled by believing that I am loved deeper and purer and perfectly loved than anything I could ever dare hope for. "Thank You, Holy One for Your great love. For loving me so much that You died for a wretch like me."

For to me, to live...

"For to me, to live is Christ..." -Philippians 1:21

Meditate upon this. What about you? "For you to live is _____!" I know as I've searched my heart the past couple of days, I can humbly say that Christ is not the ONE and ONLY thing that I live for. I want it to be, but I know that there are many times where He is not. Ask the Lord to search you. To try you and know your thoughts. To see if there might be any grievous way in you. (Psalm 139:23-24)

"Lord, You are my ALL. But may I be able to honestly and humbly say that for me to live, IS Christ, and Christ alone. 'Delight thyself in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.' (Psalm 37:4). Lord, You ARE the Desire of my heart. I do find great delight in You, and I love You, but only because You have loved me first. Be my Constant Delight, and may You give Yourself more and more to me."

Tongue Assignment

I don't know if any of you are familiar with Jack Miller's Sonship...ministry, I guess you'd call it. Basically he created this originally for missionaries that would become burnt out in their ministry. Anyway- the basic idea of Sonship is knowing and believing that we have been adopted by the Father. If we believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we have been adopted. Once we were orphans, but now belong to our Heavenly Father. I'd encourage you to check this stuff out, it's solid! Something they really focus on is the heart. What is the heart motive of everything that we do say and think? Understanding and recognizing the ways that we are dominated by our flesh, rather then led by the Spirit. When we diagnose our heart problems, we can then apply the Gospel, living by faith in the righteousness that we have IN Jesus. "Keep thy heart with all diligence: for out of it [are] the issues of life." -Proverbs 4:23 (kjv) So anyway, there is this tongue assignment that they came up with called, "The Infamous Sonship Tongue Assignment. And the way to have the heart open to the depth of the flesh/sinful nature, is to participate in this tongue assignment. I started it today, and have already failed miserably! BUT the goal of this is to not try to be "more righteous" or to please God, but the goal is to see our need for a Savior and to believe the Gospel afresh! So with all that said, be prepared to be humbled and to run quickly to our Savior Jesus. I will be doing this, this next week (and hopefully beyond that), are you willing to do it with me? I guarantee that you will see yourself as a bigger sinner than ever before, yet you will see the Cross become soooo much bigger in your life! Are you ready....?

Try to keep these "laws" for one week

DON'T DO THESE

1. Don't gossip. (confess someone else's sins)

2. Don't complain about anything.

3. Don't blameshift or make excuses.

4. Don't defend yourself.

5. Don't boast about anything...

Okay- so this is definitely going to be challenging...and your first thoughts may be..."okay, well I just wont talk then..." That was mine...but no...here's the second part of the assignment.

DO THESE

1. Speak only good about others

2. Thank God for His plan for your life

3. Admit it when you are wrong or you sin

4. Rejoice, you're worse than you think!

5. ...except in your weaknesses (2 cor. 12:9)

And the key thing that we must remember, is that God doesn't love us any more or any less if we do or don't do these things. We will fail, but HIS grace covers that. Are you willing to admit that you cannot do it on your own, but that you need the help and grace of our great and holy God and Savior? I was going to attach a link below but I can't get it to work, SO if you google "the infamous sonship tongue assignment" and look up images you'll find it! I really encourage you to print it out and stick it somewhere where you will see it through out your day! If you decide to do this assignment, feel free to comment, because I would like to pray for you as I do it as well!! Anyone with me....?

The Kingdom of God

My church is doing a sermon series on the Kingdom of God, so over the next several months I will be writing some posts about it. I guess you could call it a "blog series". We'll see how that goes...since I'm not all that good at writing. Stay tuned.... ;)

"Jesus answered [when he was standing before Pilate], 'My Kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.'" -John 18:36 "The Kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed, nor will they say, 'Look, here it is!' or 'There!' for behold the kingdom of God is in the midst of you." -Luke 17:20b-21

Poem

At the dinner table the other night I found out that my 11 year old sister, Aubrynn, and my brother-in-law Jon, made a poem for me while I was gone during the summer at Ellerslie. Each week they wrote one stanza. There are only 7 stanzas, so I guess they only did it for 7 weeks. I got a kick out of it and thought I'd share it. :)

~So fresh and so new~

These thing you're about to do,

But don't worry, Jesus knows

And soon it will be week two!

~So you survived week one~

Maybe even had a little fun

We miss you a lot, you know

So tell us when you're done!

~How was your time~

And how was week two?

How were you classes

And what did you do?

~We miss you a lot~

And all that you do

And don't ever forget

We love you!

~So how is your church~

And how is your school?

When students see you

Do they think you're cool!

(at which point I burst out laughing!)

~When you are homesick~

When you are sad

Remember you're there for God

Not anything bad!

~We hope you are good~

We hope you are fine

And when you're in the other state

We hope you have an awesome time!

I love my family! :) They bring such joy to my heart!

The Power of God

"Outside of heaven, the power of God in its highest density is found inside the gospel. This must be so, for the Bible twice describes the gospel as 'the power of God".

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God to salvation to everyone who believes..." -Romans 1:16

"For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,

but to us who are being saved it is the

power of God." - I Corinthians 1:18

Nothing else in all of Scripture is ever described in this way, except for the Person of Jesus Christ.

"...Christ the power of God..." -I Corinthians 1:24

Such a description indicates that the gospel is not only powerful, but that it is the ultimate entity in which God's power resides and does its greatest work.

Indeed, God's power is seen in erupting volcanos, in the unimaginably hot boil of our massive sun, and in the lightening speed of a recently discovered star seen streaking through the heavens at 1.5 million miles per hour. Yet in Scripture such wonders are never labeled "the power of God." How powerful, then, must the gospel be that it would merit such a title! And how great is the salvation it could accomplish in my life, if I would only embrace it by faith and give it a central place in my thoughts each day!"

-An excerpt taken from 'A Gospel Primer' by Milton Vincent. pg 14

Having JOY Amidst Suffering

Can we truly have JOY amidst suffering? If so, than what does

that look like?

"...in Thy presence is fullness of JOY..." -Psalm 16:11

Boom! Right there. Okay so what does THAT mean? In the presence of the Lord, there is fullness- COMPLETE, SATISFYING...JOY! Okay well...how exactly do I GET that? Scripture says that in HIS presence, there you will find it. When we seek after the Lord and continually abide in His presence, we will be filled with His JOY! That's a promise! (you can scroll down and read my other post "Promises of God"). Okay, so...can I really have that when I'm suffering? Read the verse again. "In Thy presence IS fullness of JOY". That is present tense. No matter where we are in life, we can always find joy in Him. I know it sounds easier said than done, especially when you are going through a time of suffering. But friends, I know this to be TRUE in those VERY times of suffering.

This past Saturday, I felt like my world had been turned upside down. (I can't go into details and have to be vague, and for that I apologize). I had to keep constantly telling and reminding myself that God IS who He SAYS He is. And that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5, Joshua 1:5). I was so burdened and discouraged by "this", and I asked the Lord to help me not to let this distract me or completely take away my joy for what we are celebrating at this time of year: HIM. His life and death and resurrection. And as soon as I prayed that, I realized what suffering in a Believer's life should look like. That even though there will be pain and suffering in this life, especially as a Believer, we can have true JOY! Not necessarily happiness, but JOY. I saw that amidst my suffering now, this week, I can still have joy and celebrate the Gift of Christmas. For this is the very reason why any of us can even have joy. That Joy, that Gift, is JESUS CHRIST Himself. But it's not just for this time of year, it is something that we must celebrate every single day. The Thing that we look to day by day, and the Thing that we find our JOY and satisfaction in. Because He is our All-in-All. He is the very reason for life. Amidst our suffering, we can find JOY. Not that it will be easy, but the suffering I'm going through right now and during this Christmas season, is a picture of how our suffering should be for the rest of our lives. That even though we are suffering, we can look to our precious Savior and see all that He has done for us. And that ("that" being Jesus) really, as hard as it is to sometimes see and believe, far surpasses any suffering we go through. THAT is JOY ENOUGH!

"Holy Father, thank You for the precious Gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus, thank You for being willing to be made humble to come to this earth as a lowly

baby to deliver and rescue us, sinners, for the sake of our Matchless and Most High God.

Thank You for Your life, death and resurrection.

Lord thank You for filling us with your Holy Spirit and for giving us the JOY

of who you are and what You've done, admits the pain and the suffering we go through for Your name. Be glorified and lifted up high. I love you so very much.

In Jesus' Powerful, Holy & Precious name,

Amen."

Visit to Colorado

God had given me the opportunity to go out to Colorado and visit Ellerslie a month ago. I was out there for two weeks and, wow, what a blessing it was. A couple of weeks before I left, God had made it very clear to me that He wanted me to go out with the mind set of pouring out and into the lives of the students and staff there. I didn't exactly know what that would look like, but I kept praying that God would shape my time there. Yes I was excited to see everyone, but I knew God wanted to use me in some very specific ways. I was thinking more along the lines of serving Sandi (Executive Assistant) in any way possible. Well God had other things in mind. He far exceeded any expectation I had of the trip and He not only used me in the lives of those there, but He poured back into me as well. He took my time and shaped and molded it into what He wanted it to look like, for His glory. A friend said to me, "Camille, I know you came here to pour-out, but I think that God brought you here to pour back into you." And I think both are true. But isn't that how our lives should always be? In scripture there are many times that it says that we are vessels. Think about what a vessel is; it is a bowl of some type that is used to hold liquid. The liquid doesn't just appear, it has to come from somewhere. So the liquid is poured into the vessel and the vessel is then used to pour out the liquid. Isn't that what our lives as Christians are supposed to be? As Christ constantly fills us up with Himself, we are to pour out our lives with what He has given us (Himself), It's a constant cycle. Anyway...

I cannot go into very much detail, but God really did use my visit to touch the lives of those at Ellerslie. And I'm not saying that in any prideful way, no, it is the complete opposite. I have been

so humbled by it. Yet even though Eric said to me my last day there, "Camille, the Lord knew that we needed you..." I've thought to myself countless times since, "no. You have no idea how much God knew I needed YOU, and how He as used YOU (the body at Ellerslie) in the past two weeks." Isn't that funny how that works? It goes to show us all that it is completely the work of God. Oh, thank You, Jesus!! I didn't take very many pictures. Not really sure why, but of course now I'm bummed that I didn't take more...oh well. :) I will just share some of the ones that I took and some that Chelsea Mills took as well.

Sunset at Ellerslie.

It snowed for the first time at Ellerslie my first day there Nathan and a guy from this fall semester, Josiah, decided to "dance" a 'snow dance' to make the snow come harder and faster. :)

Either the umbrella was part of the dance, or Nathan was trying to stay dry. I'm not really sure, but what I am sure of is that I have never seen an umbrella used in the snow. And I'm from the North. ;)

I LOVE snow!!

Nik taking a picture of...

...all of us girls. A group of us went to the Rosen's for dinner.

(Left-Right) Madison, Anna, Rachel, Kate, Mandy, Kourtney, Kelsey, Kara (aka, Momma Rosen), Esterline & Me

The boys took the floor.

(L-R) Aaron (in the white) Nathan Rogers, Nathan Rosen, Nik, Stephen & Steve

The Nathans...

Aaron and Na-Na. I'm not sure who was having more fun :)

Stephen climbing a tree

James & Aaron on their way to the airport to pick up the Haitian kids for His Little Feet.

(L-R:) Me, Kelsey, Thaysee, Mandy, Kate, Esterline, Anna, Chrissy, Na-Na, Kara, Liz & Kourtney

Brooke & Kelsey waiting for the kiddos to arrive! It was very windy and cold...

We decorated the Victory Wing for the kiddos' arrival!!

All the students (60+) were lining the sidewalk all the way to the Victory wing in anticipation to greet the His Little Feet choir!!

There were about 6 cars all filled with precious Haitian kiddos. We were so excited when Eric pulled in with the other line of cars following!

Eric and Hudson walking through all the students! Everyone was beaming and crying and laughing!! What an unforgettable moment.

Ben "Muffin" capturing everything on video!

The Choir sang a couple of songs for us. The last song they sang was "Amazing Grace (My Chains Fell Off)". I'm pretty sure everyone in the Church was crying at that point.

The men of Ellerslie all surrounded the kiddos and prayed over them. What a day! A day that will go down in the history of Ellerslie...it leaves me speechless.

This picture makes me smile. Need I explain?

Kala, me & Chelsea! :)

Apparently I had a lot of snow on my head...but Nik decided to tell me that it looked goofy AFTER he took the picture! :P

Me & Chels :D

The Rosen girls came with me to musician's fellowship and then we had a sleepover in the Chelseas' room (both Chelsea's share a room), and drank hot chocolate!!

(L-R: Chelsea, Anna, Me & Kate)

Chels & Me. What a gift she is from the Lord! :)

Anna, Me & Kate

The girls were all excited the next morning because they wanted me to fix their hair. :)

One of Nathan's last days.

(Nathan & Ben "B-Zo")

Ben "Muffin", Nik, Nathan & Ben "B-Zo

Kate, Madison, Me, Nathan, Kelsey & Chelsea

You can tell we were all crying... :(

My two buds!! :)

(Me, Nathan & Chelsea)

All the guys with Nathan!

Well, that's all for now! There will be more to come...

Waiting on God

Recently I've been studying in the Psalms how often the Psalmist writes about waiting on God...and if you've never realized, it's a lot. God is showing me that it is to be the Christan's state of mind and way of life. And although at times it can be very hard, I've been realizing in the past month that waiting on God keeps me in a place of three things; a continual state of dying to self, constantly seeing my dependence upon Christ, and it reminds me who I am and who our God is. Here are 2 excerpts from 'Waiting on God' by Andrew Murray. " 'Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. Those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the land.' Psalm 37:7, 9 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Yes, for HIM. Seek not only the help, the gift, thou needest seek: HIMSELF; wait for HIM. Give God His glory by resting in Him. by trusting Him fully, by waiting patiently for Him. This patience honors Him greatly; it leaves Him, as God on the throne, to do His work; it yields self wholly into His hands. It lets God be God. If thy waiting be for some special request, wait patiently. If thy waiting be more the exercise of the spiritual life seeking to know and have more of God, wait patiently. Whether it be in the shorter specific periods of waiting, or as the continuous habit of the souls. Rest in the Lord, be still before the Lord, and wait patiently. 'They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land.' What a blessed life the life of waiting becomes, the continual worship of faith, adoring and trusting His goodness. As the soul learns it's secret, every act or exercise of waiting becomes just a quiet entering into the goodness of God, to let it do it's blessed work and satisfy our every need. And, every experience of God's goodness gives new attractiveness to the work of waiting. Instead of only taking refuge in time of need, there comes a great longing to wait continually and all day. And, however duties and engagements occupy the time and mind, the soul gets more familiar with the secret art of always waiting. Waiting becomes the habit and disposition, the very second nature and breath of the soul."

"Wait (qavah) on the Lord;

be of good courage (chazaq)

and He shall strengthen (amats) thine heart:

wait, I say, on the Lord."

-Psalm 27: 14

This makes me laugh every time I see it. My friend took a picture of this sign in Estes Park, Colorado.

Calvary Love

• If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting "Who made thee to differ?And what hast thou that thou has not recieved?" then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I find myself taking lapses for granted, "Oh, that's what they always do," "Oh, of course she talks like that, he acts like that," then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I do not feel far more for the grieved Savior than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I can rebuke without a pang, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If my attitude is one of fear, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, "Just what I expected" if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or least the one concerned should say, "you do not understand," or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying "Peace, peace," where there is no peace; if I forget the poignant word "Let love be without dissimulation" and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth thing, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choices, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I am soft to myself and slide comfortably into self-pity and self-sympathy; if I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve around myself, if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself," then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If, the moment I am conscious of the shadow of self crossing my threshold, I do not shut the door, and keep that door shut, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I feel injured when another lays to my charge things that I know not, forgetting that my sinless Savior trod this path to the end, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I bitter toward those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If souls can suffer alongside and I hardly know it because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If the praise of others elates me and their blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, than I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I crave hungrily to be used to show the way of liberty to a soul in bondage, instead of caring only that it be delivered; if I nurse my disappointment when I fail, instead of asking that to another the word of release may be given, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given room there;
• If the cup of flattery tastes sweet to me, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If in the fellowship of servie I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are cause to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous (to myself, for myself), then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I refuse to allow one who is dear to me to suffer for the sake of Christ,
• If I do not see such suffering as the greatest honr that can be offered to any follower of the Crucified, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, making myself the first necessity to a soul instead of leading it to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed, if I cannot be trust with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I now nothing of Calvary Love.
• If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my fellows hestitate to ask it and turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary Love.
• If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary Love. "That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God." -Amy Carmichael

Promises of God

"...in Thy presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right hand are pleasures forever more." -Psalm 16:11. This was a promise God had shown me a week after returning from Ellerslie. I've heard and read this verse countless times before, but it pierced my heart in a different and deeper way then ever before. It is a promise. If I seek after my Jesus and continually stay and abide in His presence, I will be filled with His joy. I will find fullness and be completely satisfied. God made it clear to me that He wanted me to go after this promise. I had been fighting to find true joy in being home. Knowing it was where God wanted me, but still finding it hard to have joy in being here. Day after day I ran after this promise. My prayer was continually, "God, You promise it. I know you do not and cannot lie, so therefore it will be fulfilled. No matter how long it takes, it will happen." One of the things that God was pressing into my being while at Ellerslie was what it really means to walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7 - This verse has been a "theme" verse for me over the past several years.) Walking by 1) FACT: knowing what the the Word of God says; who He says He is and knowing that my God cannot lie. It is Truth. 2) FAITH: so then having faith in the facts. "I believe Lord, but help my unbelief"(Mark 9:24) . 3) FEELINGS/EXPERIENCE: then the feelings/emotions/experience- whatever you want to call them, will come. So many Christians live out these three things completely backwards. Feelings/experience first, not fact. For a month and a half I clung to the promise that I would be filled with God's joy and completely satisfied when I continually abide in Him. Day after day, hour after hour, I did not have the feelings, but God was truly teaching me how to walk by faith: to walk by FACT not FEELING. I wont go into details, but after a month and a half of this, God had filled me with His joy. And within days He began to give me the joy and desire to be here and serve and love the people He has placed in my life right now. Psalm 61, 62 & 63 have been pretty significant in my relationship with Christ in the past 3 years. This summer He took me deeper in these chapters and showed me so much more which I'm not going to share now in this post, but it talks a lot about God as our Rock. Our only Rock, Fortress and Salvation. Our refuge and our hiding place. Psalm 63 has been my prayer specifically since being home. My Lord is the only One that will truly satisfy. Every fiber of my being longs and faints for my Jesus. Verses 7-8 says, "Because Thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of Thy wings will I rejoice. My soul followeth hard after Thee, Thy right hand upholdeth me." The words followeth hard were translated from the greek word dabaq (daw-bak). Which means to impinge, cling or adhere. to catch by pursuit; abide, fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard, after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take. Am I following hard after Jesus? The word upholdeth was translated from the greek word tamak (taw-mak). Meaning, to sustain; keep fast; to help, follow close; (take, up) hold (up), maintain, retain, stay (up) Verse 8 says that God's right hand upholdeths me. Period. Not just sometimes or every now and then. It is used in present tense. It upholdeths. Such a key thing to remember here in this verse is that the only reason we can follow hard after Christ (dabaq), is because His right hand is upholding (tamak) us. That is the only reason. I cannot do it on my own. No matter how hard I try, I cannot do it on my own. These are just a few of the many Truths and promises God has been revealing to me in the past couple of months and weeks. Feel free to share your thoughts and comments. I pray that God would use it to encourage you in some way. This is a song that has been a prayer of mine for several weeks.

In the light of the King's face

there is life

Giving favor to His children

like a cloud of rain

Rain is falling in Your presence

on our thirsty hearts

As we seek the knowledge of Your will

oh God, impart

Oh, never ever ending river

fill us up

Lord, rain down upon us

Rain down upon us

We need You, we need You

Rain down

One thing we ask

and Lord, we humbly seek

That in Your shelter we can hide

and gaze upon the King

In Your presence

we find fullness, we are satisfied

Come, Lord Jesus

let us look upon You with enlightened eyes

Oh, never ever ending river

fill us up

Lord, rain down upon us

Rain down upon us

We need You, we need You

Rain don

You are raining down

and we are filling up

You keep raining down

and we keep filling up

"Rain Down"

Shane & Shane

Vacation August 2010

Here are some pictures I took of our vacation back in August. Most of the pictures are of my niece Savannah, but she's the cutest thing ever!! My sister, Brittany and her little one, Savannah Me and my sweet little niece I love this! She always does this thing where she sucks in her bottom lip...ugh...so precious

She has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen on a baby

Eating cereal for the first time

Savannah and Uncle Dane (he's 7)

He adores her and she always laughs at him

Listening to Nonni (my mom)

Jon (brother-in-law), Savannah & Daners

Talking to Aunt Millie

My sister calls me "The Baby Wisperer". I think record time in getting her asleep was 3 minutes! It doesn't get much better having a precious little baby fall asleep in my arms!

She LOVED the water

Savannah, Brittany, Aubrynn, me & Chelsea

I LOVE this picture!

Auntie put her asleep again. So precious!

Uhhhh...sweetness...

I took this picture in the car...I just love the colors!

Chelsea, Me, Dane, Tate, Aubrynn, Sawyer & Brittany. My oldest sister Jocelyn is the only "kid" missing from this picture.

Two of my favorite people in the whole world!

We were being really wierd...

I just love her...

Adorable