Chief Among Sinners

      Paul said, in 1 Timothy 1:15, that he was the "chief among sinners", the worse of all sinners. Many years ago I wrestled with why Paul, of ALL people said such a thing. I thought, "Yeah sure, he's a sinner...but the CHIEF? What about all the OTHER people that just did horrible things; murder, rape, abuse, etc..." The Lord showed me what that meant soon after I began asking. And recently, in the past 6 months, God has been showing it to me in deeper ways. So I will explain why I believe Paul says this.


Paul is a sinner. Yes, he is redeemed. But he is a redeemed sinner. When God looks upon Paul, yes He sees His Son's righteousness and perfection, but Paul is still a sinner. He is still VERY human. Just as human as before he was saved. Now first let me say, that I am not saying that because Paul was redeemed and that God saw him as Jesus that he can just continue living "in sin". So just know that I'm not saying that, okay? Alright...anyway. Paul says he is the worst of all sinners. He says this AFTER he is saved. He didn't say it BEFORE he knew Christ, but after. Why? Paul knows his heart. Obviously, he doesn't know the depth of his sinful heart because if so, he would be utterly crushed and killed by it, but he knows it to a certain degree. Paul doesn't know the hearts of other's. He doesn't. He can't know that...he's not God. Paul can't judge or say what is in other's hearts because he does not know. But he DOES know his OWN heart. You see, God has been showing me over the past several months that I AM the chief among sinners. He is showing me my heart more and more. I don't and can't know what is in another person's heart, only what is in my own. So therefore I cannot claim that I am "better" of a person/christian if I can't see /know another person's heart. But oh, how often do we look at what is "wrong" and sinful in someone else's life?

"Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" -Matthew 7:3.

       We do this ALL the time. As God is showing me the depth of my sinful heart, it is honestly by His grace. By His grace alone he is showing me my sinful heart. And you know what? I am so thankful. Why?
1. I see that I have NO good apart from my Lord (Ps. 16:2).
2. As I see my heart/sin, the cross become much bigger in my life. How so? Because I begin to see how much more of a sacrifice Jesus gave on my behalf. It is astounding! It is HUMBLING.


There is a saying...I'm not sure who said it or where it comes from, but if you ever come to my church you will quickly hear it (or a variation of it):

 "Cheer up! You are a lot worse than you think, BUT in Christ more loved than you ever dared hope!"

 [Side note: 'BUT' I think is one of the most powerful words in the entire Bible. Check out Ephesians 2:4]

Seriously friends, can you grab a hold of this? Paul understood the Gospel unlike any person I have ever known or read about. He got it! Why? Because He knew the depth of his sin and the great mercy and love of the God of the universe. Another thing to think about. Just imagine with me. If we had this mind set of "being the chief among sinners" how would that change the way we interact with people? How would that change the way we love them? My goodness...it would drastically change!!! We would begin to truly love people. We would begin to love them with the Gospel; the Truth and Love of a Holy King. We would know the mercy, forgiveness and love of a Father that has forgiven the depth of our sin. We would then begin to see that, "Wow! If God can forgive ME, the worst of the worse, then how much more can I, by His grace alone, love and forgive others?" Sounds like this is..."manageable" right? Well, how about loving those that are hard to love? The socially awkward ones? The ones that make YOU feel extremely awkward? How about the ones that seem really prideful/arrogant? How about the murders? The rapists? OR...how about the ones that have wronged and sinned against you? Maybe the ones that persecute you...slander you...hmmm. "Yeah, God, I can't love THEM. I mean are you really asking me to love THEM. They've slandered my name and back stabbed me. They've basically ripped me to shreds and then just stomped all over what's left of me. You really are asking....TELLING... me to love them?"

God's response.... "Yes."

I ask, "But God, how on EARTH do I love them?"

My Father loving responds, "Camille, my daughter. Do you not remember what I have done for you? Take a look at your heart. Don't you see that you are still in desperate, daily, moment by moment in need of ME? Look at how I have loved and forgiven you. Even more, take a look at how my Son was treated, right before He died for you. And He was completely blameless. He was perfect, and yet was spat on, beaten, etc. And He still loved. He lives inside of you, which means that you can love just like that. No, you're not going to be perfect at it, but you can take that step of loving them by forgiving them and extending grace."

Seeing what my Father and Savior have done for me, how can I NOT forgive and love? As I see the depth of my sinful heart, how can I NOT extend grace, knowing that I don't know their hearts, but I do know my own. I know that I am far worse than any other being. I am the chief among sinners. The worst of the worse. Yet in seeing that, I am truly humbled by believing that I am loved deeper and purer and perfectly loved than anything I could ever dare hope for. "Thank You, Holy One for Your great love. For loving me so much that You died for a wretch like me."

For to me, to live...

"For to me, to live is Christ..." -Philippians 1:21

Meditate upon this. What about you? "For you to live is _____!" I know as I've searched my heart the past couple of days, I can humbly say that Christ is not the ONE and ONLY thing that I live for. I want it to be, but I know that there are many times where He is not. Ask the Lord to search you. To try you and know your thoughts. To see if there might be any grievous way in you. (Psalm 139:23-24)

"Lord, You are my ALL. But may I be able to honestly and humbly say that for me to live, IS Christ, and Christ alone. 'Delight thyself in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.' (Psalm 37:4). Lord, You ARE the Desire of my heart. I do find great delight in You, and I love You, but only because You have loved me first. Be my Constant Delight, and may You give Yourself more and more to me."

Tongue Assignment

I don't know if any of you are familiar with Jack Miller's Sonship...ministry, I guess you'd call it. Basically he created this originally for missionaries that would become burnt out in their ministry. Anyway- the basic idea of Sonship is knowing and believing that we have been adopted by the Father. If we believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we have been adopted. Once we were orphans, but now belong to our Heavenly Father. I'd encourage you to check this stuff out, it's solid! Something they really focus on is the heart. What is the heart motive of everything that we do say and think? Understanding and recognizing the ways that we are dominated by our flesh, rather then led by the Spirit. When we diagnose our heart problems, we can then apply the Gospel, living by faith in the righteousness that we have IN Jesus. "Keep thy heart with all diligence: for out of it [are] the issues of life." -Proverbs 4:23 (kjv) So anyway, there is this tongue assignment that they came up with called, "The Infamous Sonship Tongue Assignment. And the way to have the heart open to the depth of the flesh/sinful nature, is to participate in this tongue assignment. I started it today, and have already failed miserably! BUT the goal of this is to not try to be "more righteous" or to please God, but the goal is to see our need for a Savior and to believe the Gospel afresh! So with all that said, be prepared to be humbled and to run quickly to our Savior Jesus. I will be doing this, this next week (and hopefully beyond that), are you willing to do it with me? I guarantee that you will see yourself as a bigger sinner than ever before, yet you will see the Cross become soooo much bigger in your life! Are you ready....?

Try to keep these "laws" for one week

DON'T DO THESE

1. Don't gossip. (confess someone else's sins)

2. Don't complain about anything.

3. Don't blameshift or make excuses.

4. Don't defend yourself.

5. Don't boast about anything...

Okay- so this is definitely going to be challenging...and your first thoughts may be..."okay, well I just wont talk then..." That was mine...but no...here's the second part of the assignment.

DO THESE

1. Speak only good about others

2. Thank God for His plan for your life

3. Admit it when you are wrong or you sin

4. Rejoice, you're worse than you think!

5. ...except in your weaknesses (2 cor. 12:9)

And the key thing that we must remember, is that God doesn't love us any more or any less if we do or don't do these things. We will fail, but HIS grace covers that. Are you willing to admit that you cannot do it on your own, but that you need the help and grace of our great and holy God and Savior? I was going to attach a link below but I can't get it to work, SO if you google "the infamous sonship tongue assignment" and look up images you'll find it! I really encourage you to print it out and stick it somewhere where you will see it through out your day! If you decide to do this assignment, feel free to comment, because I would like to pray for you as I do it as well!! Anyone with me....?

The Kingdom of God

My church is doing a sermon series on the Kingdom of God, so over the next several months I will be writing some posts about it. I guess you could call it a "blog series". We'll see how that goes...since I'm not all that good at writing. Stay tuned.... ;)

"Jesus answered [when he was standing before Pilate], 'My Kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.'" -John 18:36 "The Kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed, nor will they say, 'Look, here it is!' or 'There!' for behold the kingdom of God is in the midst of you." -Luke 17:20b-21

Poem

At the dinner table the other night I found out that my 11 year old sister, Aubrynn, and my brother-in-law Jon, made a poem for me while I was gone during the summer at Ellerslie. Each week they wrote one stanza. There are only 7 stanzas, so I guess they only did it for 7 weeks. I got a kick out of it and thought I'd share it. :)

~So fresh and so new~

These thing you're about to do,

But don't worry, Jesus knows

And soon it will be week two!

~So you survived week one~

Maybe even had a little fun

We miss you a lot, you know

So tell us when you're done!

~How was your time~

And how was week two?

How were you classes

And what did you do?

~We miss you a lot~

And all that you do

And don't ever forget

We love you!

~So how is your church~

And how is your school?

When students see you

Do they think you're cool!

(at which point I burst out laughing!)

~When you are homesick~

When you are sad

Remember you're there for God

Not anything bad!

~We hope you are good~

We hope you are fine

And when you're in the other state

We hope you have an awesome time!

I love my family! :) They bring such joy to my heart!

The Power of God

"Outside of heaven, the power of God in its highest density is found inside the gospel. This must be so, for the Bible twice describes the gospel as 'the power of God".

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God to salvation to everyone who believes..." -Romans 1:16

"For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,

but to us who are being saved it is the

power of God." - I Corinthians 1:18

Nothing else in all of Scripture is ever described in this way, except for the Person of Jesus Christ.

"...Christ the power of God..." -I Corinthians 1:24

Such a description indicates that the gospel is not only powerful, but that it is the ultimate entity in which God's power resides and does its greatest work.

Indeed, God's power is seen in erupting volcanos, in the unimaginably hot boil of our massive sun, and in the lightening speed of a recently discovered star seen streaking through the heavens at 1.5 million miles per hour. Yet in Scripture such wonders are never labeled "the power of God." How powerful, then, must the gospel be that it would merit such a title! And how great is the salvation it could accomplish in my life, if I would only embrace it by faith and give it a central place in my thoughts each day!"

-An excerpt taken from 'A Gospel Primer' by Milton Vincent. pg 14

Having JOY Amidst Suffering

Can we truly have JOY amidst suffering? If so, than what does

that look like?

"...in Thy presence is fullness of JOY..." -Psalm 16:11

Boom! Right there. Okay so what does THAT mean? In the presence of the Lord, there is fullness- COMPLETE, SATISFYING...JOY! Okay well...how exactly do I GET that? Scripture says that in HIS presence, there you will find it. When we seek after the Lord and continually abide in His presence, we will be filled with His JOY! That's a promise! (you can scroll down and read my other post "Promises of God"). Okay, so...can I really have that when I'm suffering? Read the verse again. "In Thy presence IS fullness of JOY". That is present tense. No matter where we are in life, we can always find joy in Him. I know it sounds easier said than done, especially when you are going through a time of suffering. But friends, I know this to be TRUE in those VERY times of suffering.

This past Saturday, I felt like my world had been turned upside down. (I can't go into details and have to be vague, and for that I apologize). I had to keep constantly telling and reminding myself that God IS who He SAYS He is. And that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5, Joshua 1:5). I was so burdened and discouraged by "this", and I asked the Lord to help me not to let this distract me or completely take away my joy for what we are celebrating at this time of year: HIM. His life and death and resurrection. And as soon as I prayed that, I realized what suffering in a Believer's life should look like. That even though there will be pain and suffering in this life, especially as a Believer, we can have true JOY! Not necessarily happiness, but JOY. I saw that amidst my suffering now, this week, I can still have joy and celebrate the Gift of Christmas. For this is the very reason why any of us can even have joy. That Joy, that Gift, is JESUS CHRIST Himself. But it's not just for this time of year, it is something that we must celebrate every single day. The Thing that we look to day by day, and the Thing that we find our JOY and satisfaction in. Because He is our All-in-All. He is the very reason for life. Amidst our suffering, we can find JOY. Not that it will be easy, but the suffering I'm going through right now and during this Christmas season, is a picture of how our suffering should be for the rest of our lives. That even though we are suffering, we can look to our precious Savior and see all that He has done for us. And that ("that" being Jesus) really, as hard as it is to sometimes see and believe, far surpasses any suffering we go through. THAT is JOY ENOUGH!

"Holy Father, thank You for the precious Gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus, thank You for being willing to be made humble to come to this earth as a lowly

baby to deliver and rescue us, sinners, for the sake of our Matchless and Most High God.

Thank You for Your life, death and resurrection.

Lord thank You for filling us with your Holy Spirit and for giving us the JOY

of who you are and what You've done, admits the pain and the suffering we go through for Your name. Be glorified and lifted up high. I love you so very much.

In Jesus' Powerful, Holy & Precious name,

Amen."